What Strengths were You Born with?

IMG_4597.jpg

Jenny sat at the back of the bus, her nose buried in her Nancy Drew book. She was a bit of an ackward kid and didn’t fit in with the other girls. She liked to play while rough while they pretended to bake and played with dolls.

She loved this book and was reading furiously. A young woman in the book was taken hostage and suddenly Jenny thought, “What if that happened to me?” She looked over her shoulder and stared at the car behind the bus craning her neck to get a look at the driver. It was a woman in frumpy dress and pearl. “Not someone who would take a hostage,” Jenny thought..

She looked around at the other kids on the bus and thought, “These guys wouldn’t have a clue about how to take a hostage.” But then the bus driver, Sam, caught her eye. He was wearing jeans and a plaid shirt. He had a moustache. This was the kind of guy that could take a hostage…

Continue reading “What Strengths were You Born with?”

Getting Out of Your Own Way

I sit in front of my computer screen feeling lifeless. I’m trying to will myself to work but I feel tired and heavy. My shoulders slump forward, my brow furrows. “Work!” I think but nothing happens…

Finally I close my laptop, lean back on the couch, close my eyes and take a breath. I turn my head and look out the window.

I’d been working on a Sacred Career Design workbook for months. I had launched the free version of the online course a week before and there wasn’t much interest in it and so was having trouble motivating myself to work on the more comprehensive version. Why keep working when no one seems to want the free version??

Continue reading “Getting Out of Your Own Way”

Speak Up.

Bryn - Quetico

A friend is 40 minutes late for our coffee date but I give him a hug and act as if he is on time. A colleague doesn’t show up for a meeting we’ve had planned for a long time, but I shrug it off and reschedule. The internet install guy drags out a simple procedure that should take 20 minutes so that it takes over 3 hours, but I smile, make polite conversation and laugh at his jokes.

I have gotten good at acting as if everything is fine. I have gotten good at hiding my anger. I have gotten good at avoiding conflict at all costs.

Continue reading “Speak Up.”

Shame and Sickness

IMG_0191
Delicious lentil soup brought over by a friend.

I am in bed again.  For the sixth day, although I haven’t stayed in bed as diligently as the time I was sick in December.  I get up, I go to work for half a day, I become exhausted, I go back home, back to bed.

The moments when I am able to relax into the sickness and simply rest are beautiful, restful.  But there are lots of moments that are not…

Continue reading “Shame and Sickness”

The Uncertainty is nearly killing me…

Photo on 1-20-2016 at 1.11 PM #2

In her most recent book, Still Writing: The Perils and Pleasures of a Creative Life, best-selling author Dani Shapiro writes,

When writers who are just starting out ask me when it gets easier, my answer is never. It never gets easier. I don’t want to scare them, so I rarely say more than that, but the truth is that, if anything, it gets harder. The writing life isn’t just filled with predictable uncertainties but with the awareness that we are always starting over again.

I am sitting in a café with large windows, light streaming in, jazz music playing. At this point, I have an idea, a working title, a little piece of inspiration. I am starting over again. I don’t know how this piece will turn out but I do know that before I leave the cafe I’ll have a first draft.

There is a little bit of uncertainty – roughly 45 minutes of uncertainty – involved in writing this post. And that amount of uncertainty is manageable for me.   Bite sized.

Continue reading “The Uncertainty is nearly killing me…”